Wake Up.

It took me a bit to wake up from this sleep taste of mind.  I guess sometimes in my older age (haha), I wait for something big to wake me up.  That moment just happened to occur yesterday.  I was awakened by the mercy and grace of the Lord and His anointing on His people.  What have you ever been through that He has not brought you through?  What can you claim as an accomplishment that He didn’t already know you could do?  What in the world have you brought to the world that you can take out that He didn’t already create in it?  It’s not to make us feel insignificant (even though honestly we are) but to realize how much He has given and how BIG He really is.

So, my friend and I were talking about predestination this evening.  Some people consider it to be such an icky word and concept because it follows such an exclusive line of reasoning.  Romans 8:29-31 says that:

     “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.  And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.  What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?”

My friend made the point that our salvation has nothing to do with us, it is simply what God has done for us.  I know that in the past, I may have processed it differently and that we all have free will…and then I would get all confused with the predestined details.  I really haven’t approached it from the angle of, yes, we have free will to choose what we want, but, God knows all and knows WHAT we are going to choose.  We don’t, but yet again, it’s another point made that He knows…

Recently, I realized how merciful and full of grace God really is.  Without God, we would not have salvation.  Without His Holy Spirit, we would never make the 180 back into His arms.  Without the help of the church, the brothers and sisters in the COMMUNITY of believers, we would lie in wait in the darkness, the devil there to pick us off one by one. 

It has been about 3-4 years since I had a solid group of believers that I had the opportunity to know, laugh with, and love as much as I do now.  I encourage those lonely, waiting people to wake up.  Stop longing for the old times when your spiritual walk was so vibrant; pray for a spirit of boldness!  Ask the Lord for His guidance; even ask Him to literally direct your steps to the place He wants you to be.  I guarantee He knows, because He has already seen it.  Tee hee – it is your destiny as He has created it!

Tap into His knowledge and plan for the life He has given; God just totally blew me away with His divine power and His faithfulness; I know He can do the same for…YOU.

Ask Him to wake you up.

What I Miss Most…

• The smell of summer and freedom
• The feeling of a friend’s warm arm against your own during a car ride
• The summer nights that went on forever
• My great grandmother’s bed and all the memories of my teenage years spent on it writing music, shedding tears, and laughing out loud
• Lisa and her great big hugs, her laughter, her awesome dance moves, and her loving heart
• The Muskegon weekend when most of the crew had sunburns; refrigerated aloe is all you need…
• My first kiss on the cheek from a boy
• My first love letter
• The way Radiohead’s song ‘Karma Police’ made me feel like I could fly inside my car
• Being able to pack for summer camp knowing that 1/2 of the clothes would never be used
• College Fall Retreats at Bambi where I felt like the stuff because I was on the Worship Team
• The letters from my Marine (wherever you are, I hope I never get to meet you)
• Orchestra trips in high school where you can get away with just about anything…because you were invincible
• Summers at the Esch Farm where the Prom preparation was a way of life
• When driving to the store for my Mom and Dad was fun
• When watching PG-13 movies made you feel like an adult
• Giggling because you knew something at camp about a boy that someone else didn’t
• Centrifuge Summer Camp where everyone I knew got a hug from me and at least 10 people had a summer love
• Driving and imagining my favorite actor was in the car beside me…what to say, where were we going?
• Being 21 and stupid
• Being 18 and stupid
• Being 16 and stupid
• My uncle Morgan and his passion for counseling men convicted of Domestic Violence
• My cat, Chase Manhattan
• My grandfather Sidney – the boxer ‘Kid Chocolate’
• Not having to worry about paying out $700 every month in bills
• My beautiful blooming tree in the backyard of my old house
• My brother living in the State of Michigan
• My ability to be happy without having to think really hard about what to be happy about
• Waterdeep, Watermark, and Five Iron Frenzy…
• My friends that have boyfriends, fiancee’s, and husbands — change can really stink sometimes…but it’s all good
• My friends that have ex-boyfriends, ex-fiancee’s, and ex-husbands — change can really really stink sometimes, but God is good

 

Most of all — I miss you and the way we used to talk; can we ever have that again.  I miss the way we were.

But, Where’s the Groom?

There are a few things I have been going through lately.  I won’t go into detail at this point because I am still trying to work it out in my mind.  Be that as it may, I have found that my subconscious KNOWS that I am struggling with this thought and it likes to have fun in my dreams.

With my best friend getting married in August and her bridal shower last night, I begin to think about what lies ahead for me?  Do I get to have a husband during my lifetime?  I was just over at my Grandmother’s house for Mother’s Day and I came across a picture of an old couple (in their 80’s) who had just gotten married.  NEITHER had been married before…they waited that long.  It was cute and frightening at the same time.

Let’s go back a bit.  When I was involved in a college ministry, we had an awesome women’s small group that would talk about everything.  One day, we were talking about marriage and I was sharing that all I needed was the ring, the wedding, and the house.  Our co-director then asked, “but, what about the man?” And my reply was non-existent.  I had completely forgotten about the man, the groom!  I wonder why that is?

As I lay in bed last night, I remember drifting off after watching ‘Mythbusters’ and then my dream began.  I was with my best friend and we were enjoying my last night of singleness before my blessed wedding day.  But I was confused, nervous, and scared.  Why?  Because I knew there was no groom.  Everyone else seemed to be excited to attend my wedding the next day, and for some reason, no one had asked where my husband-to-be was.  As the hours passed, I gradually got more and more stressed, but the party kept going, and I kept wondering how in the world I was going to find a husband in time for the ceremony.  I was totally freaking out….then I woke up.

I have been thinking about this quite a bit because of recent events in my life that some people know about…and others don’t.  Again, I don’t want to go into detail just because, but, I think that this particular dream had meaning.  Why don’t I know where my groom is?  Why does everyone else think everything is fine and it is on schedule?  Could it be that I have given them this false sense that everything is going as planned?  I think I have touched on something really close to my heart that I haven’t dealt with.  Does everyone think things are better in my life than they actually are?  I think a lot of people go through that in their lives when trying to balance what their friends know and what they are really going through in life. 

All in all, I think that my dream should not be taken lightly because…I honestly believed that I could come up with a groom at the last minute that would fill in! How crazy is that?!  I remember having drinks with my best friend and then honestly thinking through the wedding ceremony with the fill-in groom hoping that the marriage would not be legally binding!  I am amazing!

All I know is that My Father is entirely about me discovering His purposes for my life and how I can give Him glory. 

“Jesus, I am resting, resting
In the joy of what Thou art
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart”

Don’t Worry!

Don’t worry my friends.  I have not forgotten about my blog!

There are a number of pretty awesome things happening and there are some things in my life that I am working on with His help.  Hopefully soon, I will have them put together enough to type them in.  Until then, if you live in the Ann Arbor area, please mark your calendars for May 30th! I have my own show at The Common Cup on Washtenaw near U of M’s central campus.

Much Love.