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Archive for February 7th, 2013

We’re at day seven.  I think it’s time that we had a visit from Sadie.

My weeks haven’t been the greatest, however, throughout everything, I at least make sure that I am taking time for sanity.  There are so many people that I love spending time with, that want to spend time with me, that I have to say ‘no’ to.  Why?  Because I find that I am an introvert.  I need time to recharge, people!  I think that is a need for everyone, however, my ideal Saturday is sleeping in, getting up to make breakfast, then going out and doing something just for me.  Sounds like a normal thing, however, nine times out of ten, I like to do these things alone.  I find, however, that I end up spending time with people on an almost constant basis, whether I want to or not.  At times, my friends drive me crazy, they have serious issues, they have serious problems, they have serious shortcomings, they are callous, sometimes unkind, sometimes really ignorant.  I love them.  I love them because they continue to survive on this earth because they are in touch with their shortcomings, their ignorance, their unkindness, their issues, their problems.  Sometimes you really know that someone will be OK when they are able to openly discuss some things that are on their hearts.  I’m not saying that I am always ready to hear what they are ready to share, I’m not saying that I am always supportive and accepting of what they have to say, but I am honored that the people in my life do realize the need to express themselves and share these things with me.

It does not end there.  I am not a perfect ear.  I’ve already explained above that I’m not always ready to hear what they have to say.  I have shortcomings, issues, faults, problems, and ignorant points of my own.  I am grateful that I have people in my life to bounce my problems off of.  I have no idea what is going through their minds while I am explaining my thoughts and my hearts to them, but hey, that’s the whole part of relationships and trusting people in your friendships.  Trust is a really big thing that is also a very delicate thing.  I don’t want to lose people’s trust, and I certainly don’t want to stop trusting people, however….as an imperfect person, I do admit that it’s going to happen, and sometimes I stop trusting people and stop spending time with friends because I am all about self-preservation.  Sure…it’s perhaps cut and bail, but I think after all my years, I am starting to realize that someone standing on a chair can easily be pulled down off of it…definitely more difficult to pull someone up onto that chair.

In closing, if you want an effortless relationship, marry your bed, but even then, you gotta change it, its mattress will need to be replaced, etc.  Oh, screw it, there is no such thing as an effortless relationship with people or inanimate objects.  We have to wrestle through them, however, I’m finding; and I think I’m not alone, that it’s worth it.

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