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Posts Tagged ‘Dating’

I feel like my whole life is about choices.  I guess I feel that way because it’s true.  My life is all about choices.  Somedays, I don’t want to make any choices, and somedays, I just want to make every choice possible.  Some days I fear I make some really awful choices, and somedays, I make very wise choices.

Just a random note…of a very obvious thing.

I am just wondering if we truly get to choose who we will love.  I currently am feeling trapped by this predicament.  I don’t know if this particular person will ever leave my mind, and at the same time, I am thinking about another person going through something similar.  Tonight, he had a very difficult decision to make about the continuance of a relationship or not.  The obstacles were too great, he believes, to make the relationship truly work for both of them.  I know that the chick-flick experts would say that the relationship must be fought over, however, I would agree that this person needed to be realistic about both of their futures.  He truly is having a difficult night and I am sad for him, but he is doing what is best.

As for me, I don’t wish to dwell in my particular torment, however, this is my challenge and my adventure to go through with the Lord.  I now get to have in-depth conversations with Him about where my heart really is.  Is it with Him, or is it with him?  Sometimes I hate my mind, but I’m still around because it is supposed to do something for God.  I hope He gives me an extra measure of patience and understanding with this one, because I’m going to need it.

Time to close my eyes, but not without a verse:

“You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For ‘in just a little while, He who is coming will come and not delay’.” (Hebrews 10:36-37)

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Brenda and Dale had an existence separate from each other until, of course, they found each other in 2008.  A simple life made complicated is how I will classify it.  They didn’t know hardships and joy until they found each other.  The catch is, as in most relationships, is that each one had certain expectations and limitations when they went into the relationship.  I think, they each thought that they could change the other person’s mind if given enough time.  Such is the folly of our stubborn minds and our willful hearts.

Three years later, a break occurred that neither of them could mend and certain limitations and expectations from the past were brought up.  Even though an acknowledgment of love for one another was shared, in the end, the path they once walked together became two separate paths in different directions.

Yes, these are two people that I know.  Yes, they went into a relationship with hopes, which are not wrong, but I tend to have reservations when we believe that we can change a person simply by spending time with them in a relationship.  It’s not just an intent to help the person along that helps, the person that you are trying to spend that time with needs to want to change.  If they don’t wish to, you are wasting your time. In this case, some would think that three years was wasted.

How is this a post about love?  This would be a post to go along with the second day:  you cannot expect love to accommodate you, you must accommodate and make changes for love…and you must be willing (both parties) to make those changes.  I think that both people have to be of the same accord in order for love to move in and leave its mark; take up its proper real estate.

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Valentine’s Day. I don’t know if I would want to put a happy in front of that. So, my best friend just called me on my cell, and I ignored the call; so she then proceeded to call the house phone. I had to answer that one. There is no reason why I have to be so grumpy today, but I still am. I really don’t want to hear anything about what day it is and the reminder that I am one of the many single masses. But yet, I am letting it hit me and it is really pissing me off today!!

A friend of mine who moved from Michigan to Florida was telling me that she was using this day to be reminded of how her love is for her Savior and that her Savior loves her. I applaud her for being able to look at it from this angle, however, I choose to furrow my brow and get to the verge of tears. When I tried to think about how the Savior loves me this morning, I got this skeptical look on my face. I couldn’t go to that place at that moment. And I am coming to the conclusion that this damn holiday is man-made; it’s a way to cater to those that take that time to devote to spending an ungodly amount of time wearing red, eating chocolate, going out to expensive dinners, and for some…to take the time to propose to their loves. Basically, I can’t reflect on the Savior’s love in a special way on this day, because it caters to physical love, physical meaning the relationship between two people in love without the spiritual Godly aspect of it.

Please forgive me. Please, please forgive me. I think because I just recently came to the conclusion that I am ready to date…not having a date on VD just seems to be pissing me off. But it’s for you to read and me to type.

(This blog may later be deleted – better read it while it’s hot!)

Crochet Pinwheel by JJ

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