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Posts Tagged ‘Stress’

<sigh>

I had an interesting day.  I was overwhelmed with returning to work, I was overwhelmed with all of the tasks and expectations after such a relaxing weekend.

So, I told my friends to brace themselves as I was on my way to Chelsea for dinner.  I had kind of forgotten that the entire house was going to be filled with people.  Normally, my Monday nights involve my friend Burrill and I having dinner and then laughing at retro tv shows.  Instead, we were joined by a friend and her son who were passing through and another couple from my church with their 1.5 year old.

Hilarity ensued as the two kids got to know each other, and I decided to play with the little ones.

I don’t know what we would do without little kids on this planet.  They might bring some headaches, they might bring some aches and pains, however, they brought me the most laughter I’ve had in many months.  I don’t know what my evening would have been like without the laughter of those little ones.

<sigh>

But no, I’m not ready for kids….not by a long shot.

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There are a few things I have been going through lately.  I won’t go into detail at this point because I am still trying to work it out in my mind.  Be that as it may, I have found that my subconscious KNOWS that I am struggling with this thought and it likes to have fun in my dreams.

With my best friend getting married in August and her bridal shower last night, I begin to think about what lies ahead for me?  Do I get to have a husband during my lifetime?  I was just over at my Grandmother’s house for Mother’s Day and I came across a picture of an old couple (in their 80’s) who had just gotten married.  NEITHER had been married before…they waited that long.  It was cute and frightening at the same time.

Let’s go back a bit.  When I was involved in a college ministry, we had an awesome women’s small group that would talk about everything.  One day, we were talking about marriage and I was sharing that all I needed was the ring, the wedding, and the house.  Our co-director then asked, “but, what about the man?” And my reply was non-existent.  I had completely forgotten about the man, the groom!  I wonder why that is?

As I lay in bed last night, I remember drifting off after watching ‘Mythbusters’ and then my dream began.  I was with my best friend and we were enjoying my last night of singleness before my blessed wedding day.  But I was confused, nervous, and scared.  Why?  Because I knew there was no groom.  Everyone else seemed to be excited to attend my wedding the next day, and for some reason, no one had asked where my husband-to-be was.  As the hours passed, I gradually got more and more stressed, but the party kept going, and I kept wondering how in the world I was going to find a husband in time for the ceremony.  I was totally freaking out….then I woke up.

I have been thinking about this quite a bit because of recent events in my life that some people know about…and others don’t.  Again, I don’t want to go into detail just because, but, I think that this particular dream had meaning.  Why don’t I know where my groom is?  Why does everyone else think everything is fine and it is on schedule?  Could it be that I have given them this false sense that everything is going as planned?  I think I have touched on something really close to my heart that I haven’t dealt with.  Does everyone think things are better in my life than they actually are?  I think a lot of people go through that in their lives when trying to balance what their friends know and what they are really going through in life. 

All in all, I think that my dream should not be taken lightly because…I honestly believed that I could come up with a groom at the last minute that would fill in! How crazy is that?!  I remember having drinks with my best friend and then honestly thinking through the wedding ceremony with the fill-in groom hoping that the marriage would not be legally binding!  I am amazing! 😦

All I know is that My Father is entirely about me discovering His purposes for my life and how I can give Him glory. 

“Jesus, I am resting, resting
In the joy of what Thou art
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart”

One of my favorite people on EARTH!

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